Mother

When people tell me their mum is there life I think, well I'm my mums life. She means the world to me and I will never ever love anyone more than I love her, but I'm so certain she loves me more. Nothing compares to how much she loves me, no one will ever love me more. Seeing my mum on this trip made me realise that besides being my best friend and favourite travel buddy, she's an extension to me. Nothing is complete without her. 

Seeing her slip rendered me helpless, in complete shock. I just stood there and watched other people fuss. My mums had a few bumps and falls recently and I've realised she's human. Last night made me think of all the times I've taken her for granted, I thank God for her every time I pray. But I remember in Medina watching her pray, made me ask for her to get better, I wanted nothing else. Every time I look at the ka'ba my dream, all I want is my mum back to full strength. I know He can cure her, and today that's my only dua. 

It scares me how much more important to me her being herself is. I'm used to my mum being in charge telling me what to do. Leading me. Whoever has scared my mum into this other person who is afraid of Hajj, I really want them to know that they've hurt me. I've never seen my mum like this. I want to tell my siblings, even my uncle doesn't recognise her anymore. 

If this trip none of my hajaat are accepted I just want my mum back to normal. Nothing else. 

Ever other relationship in this world is replaceable but no one will ever love you like your own mum. When we went to Uhud I sat on the step, she literally came and stood next to me, when is asked her why, her reply hurt, she wanted to make sure I was in the shade. In the Munajaat of Imam Ali he says on the day of judgement, your mother, father, brother and sister will refuse to recognise you. I look at my mum and I think either the day of judgement must be the most extreme of circumstance for my mum to leave me. 

Humanity has many flaws. My mum is His perfection personified.