If I was to write God a letter it would start with the biggest list of thank you's, as I owe Him. Not just from the air I breathe to my essence of being, but the heart that beats in my chest to the soul He called to Makkah. I can not begin to explain the gratitude I feel towards my God, as I sit across from the ka'ba, His house. Inside I know I don't deserve this. I as a person am not worthy of His favours. We all have faults we hide from the world, we follow His rules. He is after all Satarul Uyyub. That's my Rabb.
Where do I begin counting my blessings and where do I look to find a lack in His rahmania. I was "lucky" or "fortunate" enough to be born a Shia Ithna Asheri. I say it with pride, not through my own being, but through His mercy. I owe my every blessing to the 14 He created this world for. As I sit here staring at His house, my heart yearns to thank and beg Him all at once. When in the alam e arwah my soul replied Labayk I know my heart in this world has yearned for this journey for many years. Now I'm here at His house and there's a strange contentment that has spread into my heart.
My life has never been perfect I have never been given what would seem even close to perfection to anyone else. But I know my Rabb gave me more than what I deserved. Never has He made me beg for what I needed. I always demanded more. Previously when I didn't understand I made demands like I was owed things. The older I get the more I realise I am not worthy to make even requests, were my requests based on reciprocation. Here I sit with everything I need in the world. My wants and demands distant memories. There has always been pain in my heart that something was lacking, coming here filling any void there may have been.
They say the ka'ba is His house. To me it signifies all that Muhammad sww stood for, all that Ibrahim manifested. Every prophet personified an attribute of God, all these attributes are what manifested in His house. That's why 300,000,000 people leave their homes and families to come here not through compulsion. That's my Rabb.
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