Abd

UAs I sit here at my next on a typical Monday morning, writing my list. I’m a list girl, if you’re not on the list you’re not on the list. Hence, GIHS will not be touching your request till you’re on the list. Of course, if you ply me with sweet foods and caffeinated products you make the list the other way is if you’re someone who I respect. That’s too much about my morning and too little about my task so far. As many of you will be aware I have been spending a lot of time, alone, yes with me. I want to figure out what purpose, talent and magic I hold. To me the scariest part of this journey is figuring out the truth. Reality bites! Clieches aside, I am a true believer in everyone being special and everyone having their own magic. The best investment you can make as a human being is in yourself, right? 

I decided to follow the advice of those a lot smarter than me. If you want to find out about a subject ask a specialist. I went to the Qur’an my book of guidance, the one written for me by the One who loves me 70 times more than my mother. That’s a lot of love. So the Qur’an eloquently tells me, I was created to worship. That’s mine, and every other creations job. I am an ‘abd’ aka worshipper. Now we have all seen my views on the definition of worship, so I went to somewhere where there is a lot more knowledge. I read an article written on Mutahari (awesome scholar and totally the don of understanding) – my opinion based on reading 2 books). He defines a worshipper/slave in a story. The story goes, there’s a slave market in Arabia, clearly they sell slaves. One merchant sells a slave for 100 dirhams, next one 200 dirhams. Now the prices here are based on talent. So for example my slave can read and write so he can teach your kids, whereas, my slave is small and won’t take up too much space, my slave can wash 100 dishes in 30 minutes and the examples are now to your understanding. In this market, one merchant decides to show up and market his slave for 10,000 dirhams. There’s a huge crowd around bidding the price up for this slave and passersby aren’t sure what’s so special about this one, but stop to watch. Finally, the winning bidder pays 20,000, a full 10,000 dirhams above the asking price for an average looking slave. When he take the slave home, the other slaves demand to know why, all the response they get is he defines an ‘abd’ of his master, just wait and watch. From the second the slave lands there he is left in the cellar, without food and water for 3 days. While the other slaves are given quarters in the house to sleep and rest, he is left alone, they are fed and continue to do their daily tasks. Thre days later when he is brought infront of his master, the slave is asked how he is, the response is “I am at your pleasure my master”. That day he is beaten at the request of the master, then thrown back in the cellar for a further day. Again the same response “I am at your pleasure my master” when asked of his plight. Further torture and tests are done over the next week. Finally, the slave is brought to his master with the same response “I am at your pleasure my master”. The master then responds to the rest of the slaves. This is my ‘abd’, no matter what I do he reveres my command as his master. 

 Long story, but here’s some context to why I told you. I get an owie, I complain and moan and blame God. I endure a little hardship my expectation is for Him – my Lord – to break down the world. So I’m a bit of a princess, but my God loves me 70 times more than my mummy loves me, so it’s allowed. My job isn’t to complain and moan and cry, and exclaim disbelief. My purpose, my role, my journey is to live His plan. When I say His plan. I mean the grand plan. The one where the most power being ever has sat down and thought through what He would like me to achieve. So just live it. That’s my take away this Ramadhan! LIVE! Stop complaining, stop worrying and stressing. He’s got your back 

A very excited to live GIHS!

Blessings

Sometimes its the things we take for granted that we should be most grateful for. Its a bold statement, but think about it. Oxgen. Lungs. Water. Enzymes. Liver. Kidneys. I could go on in bold statements, i'll stop there  for the sake of your time, but if i was to write out what I had, count my blessings, words wouldnt be enough. For example; you all know in what high esteem i hold my mum, words dont do this woman next to me justice. Papa, bhaijaan and didi even baby Hash are my blessing. I've never lived a life without grandparents alhamdulillah for the barakah (blessing) they are to me. I'm lucky beyond measure. 

To be honest I'm not lucky. I'm blessed. Blessed by a God who is more than words. A Lord that is Rahma. No matter how much I say against Him. He doesnt punish me. He tests me and all I can do is feel sorry for myself. For those of you who weren't subject to the "pity party for one" consider yourself truely blessed. I mean blessed to the max. 

Going back to my blessings.

Theres my mosque, I'd say local but as its a 20 minute drive away, I'll stick to mosque. It's actually an Imambargah (google the difference). I complain and moan. Not about the mosque but the people. Today as I sit here near my nani's spot I feel lucky. This is home. My soul home. I feel blessed. I'm part of a community that tries. Sometimes unsuccesfully but tries. Theres always a program and its never empty here. They praise my God in their own way. With a consistent message. Trust Him. They run classes and madressa's teach the word of God. Give us a place to meet and communally worship God systematically. I'm grateful for Khojas. There I said it. 

Tonight's laylatul Bar'a the night of release. Allah swt releases us from the burden of sin and musibah (tribulations). My God in all His rahma says "ask and I will answer". Tonight He decrees destiny, life, death, sustenance and health. As always I came with a list of demands. If i dont ask the Almighty who else can I ask. Before I make my demands. Which are just that. I'm not easily pleased,  I'm a princess remember. I have so much in the last year to be thankful for. What don't I have. Tell me. You name it I have it. It's not that i deserve it. I truely dont. Im over blessed. My God has granted me all I need. He grants without measure. No one goes empty handed. If you're not granted your demand (aka dua) you'll get strength to cope with what you are granted or something better. Now that's a deal. Who could ask for more. 

It's a toughy for me to think of this night last year. My life was different. I was different. I can't say i'm better so i'll stick to different. But the realisation that tonite is 1 year on, shows how quickly we change, our lives change. Our worlds collide and collapse. Yet He stands by us throughout it all. He grants us guardians, our own angels. Strength. Guidance. When you need it. It will appear. Just as He cooled the fire for Ibraheim, He will send what you need when you need it. 

Keep the faith. You're all in my duas/demands tonight. Stay true to your God. Gratitude. The more thankful you are the more He will give you. Shukr and Hamd.