We’re human we make decisions and we map our lives out. We plan. Someone very wise, who I hold a lot of respect for, and hopefully will never read this blog, said to me “you can’t plan for other people”. It’s the most honest advice I’ve heard in a long time.
I made a decision in a bubble or a vacuum if I’m honest. I chose a top, pair of trousers, even socks, without thinking about the rest of the world. To be honest you’ll be surprised at how many of us do that. Even the big life decisions. We make them in a bubble as I call it. There’s no thought process linked to how this tiny decision will flow into my life. We select our thoughts and life plans based on just “me”. Those small “why not” moments resonate throughout our lives.
Think about it. Why did you choose to wear the outfit you wore to work today. Why did you choose to walk past that person you knew on TFL and look the other way. It’s the bubble strategy. We as human beings seem to feel it okay to make decisions and picks our paths in isolation.
Decisions that serve you in the moment leave a mark.
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Einstein didn’t make that up. It’s true. Those flippant remarks have an impact. Those silly comments define you. That blazeh attitude, that thoughtless ignoring someone has an impact. Just so you know this isn’t me ranting about someone ignoring me this morning. Everything has an impact. I have an impact is my point. My words may sting here, but you my dear reader have impact.
I want to tell you a personal story of how I made a silly decision. In isolation without thinking of the impact it would have on those around me. I reclused and fell into my bubble. I have spent the last few months of my life avoiding unnecessary conversation, any interaction with other human beings has been limited. For those that don’t know me, I’m the girl in the headscarf who has a thing or two to say. My silence didn’t do anything for me. But last night I realized that those around me, they’ve been quiet. My people the people I know and love. They’ve stopped being them because I stopped being me. I truly believe I’m insignificant. This weekend I watched the boys I teach reflect my fears in our class. It scares me to think, the one thing that I value most about being me is my acceptance of people. These boys 7-8 years old were scared. Now I’ve been running the vision exercise for 3 years. My classes are always the ones who believe they can do anything. But this year they didn’t. They just wanted to be mediocre.
I don’t settle for mediocre. You are special. We are all special. After being disappointed in them I came back in the afternoon with a bottle of shani – diabetes in a bottle, thinking it through. I realized my closed attitude had worn on them.
Then last night I spoke to a friend, who I told I was ready to go back to being me, when I told my friend I expected nothing and their friendship was enough, their response shocked me to pieces. “you made my day”. I told them you knew this. You knew this I didn’t need to say it. In all honesty the truth is my bubble decision had changed me and my dynamics of friendship. If you’re my friend you know you’re awesome. To get my attention you must be pretty amazing. When I stopped being me. When I made that decision. The people around me weren’t them too.
My decision to change that served me in that moment helped me. I mean it taught me who I am. What I want to be and where I’m going. When I’m being thrown into just serving me I forget that there is a whole world around me that relies on me.
Not because I’m significant but because He didn’t make me in isolation. I exist to serve a purpose. We all do.
THINK! Before you decide. THINK again.
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